2024~X10. Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleading Others (If That's Okay With You...)4/30/2024 ![]() I do love a self-help book that is filled with useful suggestions that are neither judgey, nor self-aggrandizing. So often, the authors come across as having figured out some magic solution to life and relationships that they are sure could help everyone, but in reality just piss me off. I was expecting no less from this one, with its too-long-title. In fact, I figured the book wouldn't offer anything more useful than what it told us in the title. I, however, was quite surprised that you don't have to identify as a push-over or people pleaser for this book to provide some helpful tips on how to better to determine what boundaries you want, how to convey your feelings, and to live life more in line with how you want. I read parts of it twice and the whole book made me think about some new strategies and approaches I can use in my life. I will definitely be recommending this to folks. Recommend. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. ![]() TJ Klune's whimsical writing style is pretty much the only thing I liked about this book. I mean, that is a lot in favor of a book. His playful, vibrant storytelling is kind of fabulous. The way he plays with character development, especially with the layers of sexual orientation and sexuality, is unique and fun. There is something just so lovely about his writing style. But, everything else about this book was kind of a mess. I hated the plot, which was just a variation of show The Good Life, with a kind of purgatory situation where the rules and process are a mystery, but everyone is nevertheless kind of muddling their way through. I particularly hated that the main character was an awful human who was given a chance to redeem himself by having a change of heart. In all honesty, it pissed me off that he could be just such a heartless, uncaring jerk for almost his entire life and then he meets really kind and patient people after he dies whose love and care help him transform himself into a totally different person. It was just so irritating and trite and I just felt like their energy could have been spent on someone more deserving. There was nothing redeeming about this person that warranted the special treatment he gets. Plus the plot just did not hold together and every time there was a particularly large plot hole, something bizarre would happen that made no sense and just made things weirder and made less sense. It wasn't painful to read, since the writing is so lovely, it just left me feeling disappointed that nothing made sense. Not recommended. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. ![]() I couldn't stop reading this book. It drew me in on so many levels. The characters, the plot, the writing...all captivating in their nuance. The complexity of trying to live a life consistent with hold values while navigating traumatic grief, discrimination, and parenting without role models for how best to do that. This book feels especially timely again, amidst the renewed conflict in the Middle East and the slow, subtle erosion of protections for Queer parents here at home. My kid was reading this as part of a college course and I always particularly love getting to share in a story he is reading. Over the two decades I have been parenting, they have been assigned a lot of crappy, problematic literature, so it was a real treat to read something this good. Highly recommend. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project.
![]() This is a sweet sweet sweet young adult fiction about two trans-masculine kids exploring friendship and love together and apart. Written for a slightly more mature audience than Cemetery Boys, this is one of the few trans-masc narratives that I have felt expressed the joy of transitioning and questioning ones gender identity, as well as the difficulties of navigating that experience in the context of complex familiar and cultural systems that are not always supportive. This adds a layer of complexity by exploring the relationship between the two friends as their relationship moves between friendship and romantic interest, with one family supportive and one not. There are themes of child sex abuse, but not related to the trans characters and none of that sub-plot is at all graphic, but the juxtaposition of how the Catholic family rallies around the child abused within the church while continuing to be unsupportive of their trans child is an interesting example of how families can step up for one child, while letting down another one, such that children growing up with different issues can have wildly different support networks. Recommend. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. ![]() I really liked Cutting for Stone when I read it about a decade or more ago, so I was excited for this book, which many people have raved about. However, I found this book to be unnecessarily graphic and depressing. For one, the descriptions of medical procedures were just too graphically detailed for me. The lengthy descriptions of things like a swollen testicle surgery and seemingly endless GI procedures just grossed me out. The many deaths of children was painful, but weirdly situated in the context of hope and resilience in a way that did not resonate with me. The drug use, intimate violence, and generalized misery made the somewhat joyous tone of the novel feel like toxic positivity in a way that had me not enamored or inspired by the characters, but constantly aware that these were characters in a book, not actual people, and I found them shallow. Even Baby Mol, called that well into her adulthood because of her developmental disabilities, was portrayed with a stereotypical sweetness that was overdone. Do not recommend. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. ![]() Written by a physician at the center of the work to bring the concept of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) to the forefront of medical care, there was a lot of really interesting material in this book. I liked many of the parts where she talks about how she talks to patients and other medical providers about ACEs and the importance of understanding their role in long term health outcomes, but I have to say that I did not love her writing style. I feel bad even saying that, to some extent, since I imagine she is a fabulous physician and it is clear from the subtext in the book that she has done amazing work, not only for individual patients and their families, but also for the community where she works. Beyond that, her work has impact widespread policy changes and helped normalized ACE screening across settings. The other issue I had with the book is that I think it is already due for an update, as the work being done on ACEs since 2018, has expanded the knowledge based in such a way that some of what is here feels outdated. I am torn about a recommendation, because there is so much in this book I want everyone to know about, but the writing and the age of the book make me hesitant to recommend it. Additionally, I did not love the author as narrator here, although in fairness, it is rare that I like the author of a book as the narrator. Finally, although I do not mean to pile on to make it seem like I liked it less than I did, I found the book in general to be fairly depressing. I know the idea is to raise awareness about the important of ACES screening, and she did provide examples of specific interventions for individual patients of hers, but the overall tone felt pretty dismal for folks with high ACE scores. I wish there had been more of an emphasis on systemic approaches to reducing ACE scores in the first place. I wished for that even though that was clearly outside the range of what could be expected from her given all that she had already been doing. Ultimately, this is going to be not not recommended. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. ![]() A series of short essays written as part of the author's project to notice things to take delight in, this is an easy book to read. At times, he twists the project on its end in an effort to make something not delightful seem delightful, but I found that mostly charming and who am I am to be policing his feel-good project, anyhow? That said, I didn't really relate to this book. For example, he several times talks about his perceptions of American culture as being devoid of touch. He laments how people don't touch him in public, saying that he thinks because he is a large Black man that people see him as "off limits" for physical contact. What I found surprising is how he universalizes this to American culture in general. I definitely took pause, because it has never been my experience that people in the US thought my body was off-limits for touch. For sure people I hardly know will often hug me, grab my hand, or touch my shoulder or back in caring ways. But also, I am regularly jostled or moved out of people's way by people physically touching my body to get by me or to take my place. I am also still often touched in ways I do not find comfortable, although this is less frequent than when I was younger. But still, I have had people--actually almost exclusively men--touch me in offensive ways and I would say that I consider all of this touching to be part of American culture that is all too comfortable touching me, Reading his thoughts on this topic reminded me how very different his experience of the country is than mine. I think that it is this fundamentally different experience that likely led to my general lack of enthusiasm about the book--perhaps not so much because his experience of the world is so different than mine, so much as it was that the delights didn't resonate with me. The touch example was just one example of several. Not recommended. Click here to purchase this book and support My 50 Bookish Friends blog project. |
AuthorI'll read anything a friend recommends & I love telling people what I think about it. Every year, I read 50 books recommended by 50 different friends. Welcome to My 50 Bookish Friends Blog. SearchCategories
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