Once you get past the title of the book, it really has nothing to offer.  Worse than that, there are parts that I found harmful and offensive.  The author was born in 1938 and the book was written in 1987, which might have been good to know before I read it because I might have been slightly less harsh is I had known this along the way.  The book had such an offensive lack of understanding about trauma, disability, and abuse and such an incredible lack of insight about privilege, I could barely get through the book.

It felt like a 1980's self-help book about how to think your way into a happy life with positive affirmations and focusing on always seeing the best in everything.  

Don't even get me started on the disturbing vignettes, like the one about Charles, who is "handicapped" and uses a wheelchair, but is "so inspiring" how he does motivational speaking for kids. He dances with them in his chair and tells them if he can get out there and dance, so can they.  His ability to think positively, to "feel his fear and do it anyway" lets him answer questions like how does he go to the bathroom and remind others that they should appreciate what they have--the implication being that people should be grateful for their lives in which they are not "like Charles."  Just barf.  Cue touching story about the mother whose inability to let herself feel the grief following the death of her child led to epilepsy that when into remission after she started going to a support group where she let herself feel her feelings.  Epilepsy cured. The end.

As is this is not enough, there is an entire section that turns into a recurring theme about the importance of "saying yes," even when you are very scared.  I don't think she actually meant this to sound like she was saying that if you just "said yes" instead of resisting then you wouldn't be a victim, but when she said that if you "say yes" to things when you are really scared and did them anyway, you might enjoy it and not "be a victim" it sure sounded like problematic messaging about rape.  Some related quotes: "We are all winners when we say yes." "Saying yes will make you feel better."  "Saying yes will improve your relationship with the universe.  It will improve your relationships with other people around you."  

Another lesson for people who have experienced terrible things at the hands of other people is for them to meditate in a dark, quiet space and "wish white like and good things to everyone who ever hurt you."  You should do this day after day until you are no longer angry at them and no longer angry at yourself for being angry at them.  Do this for one person at a time, day after day, until you have found peace with all of them and yourself.  Cue touching story about an adult child who tells him mother it is ok that he was horribly neglectful to him while he was growing up because it allowed him to learn independence during that time.  It is the "victim mentality" that makes things hard, so you have to let go of any resentments you have.  

She tells us to remember that if you accept the pain in your life as something positive, then you won't be a victim anymore.  Security, she write, isn't about having money, it is about developing an attitude that you know you will be fine without it.  

I will leave you with one other moment in the book that struck me as particularly...problematic.  She says that when a friend recommended that she read Man's Search for Meaning, she didn't want to read because she had always avoided anything that had to do with the Holocaust because it was too hard a topic for her to handle.  I just am not interested in positive thinking life advice from anyone who doesn't think they can handle reading a book about the Holocaust.  Moreover, she goes on to say how meaningful she found the book because it reminded her that she has so much to be grateful for and positive about in her own life.  

I. Just. Can't. With. The. 1980's. White. Women. Anymore.

​Do not recommend.

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I will preface this by saying that I really like Will Wheaton and it is obvious that he has put in a lot of time and effort into growing a sense of social justice and recognizing his privilege.  But, annotating his earlier memoir instead of rewriting it made for some painful reading.  Not only was the original writing immature and kind of boring, but there was also significant problematic content.  He annotated those spots with footnotes to discuss that problematic content and to criticize his younger self at length.  This got old, though, especially since he wrote the same type of things over and over in the original book.  I got bogged down in the book, enjoying a few of the stories, but mostly I was just bored and felt kind of pandered to--like he was processing his guilt over the previous material a little too much with me.  

Not recommended. 

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Not at all what I was expecting, but I just loved this three-generation grandmother-mother-daughter murder mystery.  All three characters were spunky in their own right, with quirks and strengths and rich, complex histories with each other that wove through the predicament they find themselves in when the daughter finds a dead body, the brilliant, but eccentric grandmother thinks she sees something, and the mother is just trying to keep everything stable.

I loved the setting on a flat water bay with kayakable waterways, in a town with environmentalists and real estate developers and kids hoping to make money off their parents' lands when they die.  The sexism and dysfunctional law enforcement dynamics were believable, although at times shocking.  

This is a great read for a car trip, vacation, or rainy weekend curled up reading.  

Recommend.

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I got off on quite a tangent reading a series of Taylor Jenkins' Reid books.  While the books are not a series, they do have overlapping characters or at least nods to characters in the other books, which felt a bit like seeing an old friend in passing.  It is very subtle, but I found it such a fun touch.  

I knew going into this book that it was a novel, but repeatedly throughout the book, I found myself forgetting and thinking the story was about a real rock band. It felt that realistic, especially since it was written as a series of interviews and the twist ending was just such an added bonus.   This is a great vacation read when you have time to really get sucked into the drama of a famous rock band.  

Recommend.

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I know that my voracious consumption of trash romance contributes to the problem, but I just do not love the recycling of the same tired themes.  This is the "let's fake a relationship for personal financial gain" turns into true love despite neither party wanting that to happen.  There were some cute pieces here, but the subplot whereby the man is a workaholic narcissist willing to lie at all costs to get what he wants who just needs a sassy woman in his life for him to reassess everything and radically change his world view is really overplayed.  Here, both trite plots fall flat.

​Not recommended.

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Set in the same "universe" as The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Carrie Soto is Back, and Daisy Jones & The Six, I read the last three of these in a row and really enjoyed all of them.  The tiny overlap of some characters, like little easter eggs to be found by the reader, was a fun touch.  This story of a complicated family, focusing on the siblings relationships with each other and the dysfunction of their famous, absent father and a mother struggling with mental health until her depth was moving and intriguing.  There is a lot going on that kept my attention and had me thinking about it when I wasn't reading. 

Recommend.  

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