This memoir about leaving an abusive man after staying too long was fine, but didn't offer anything that I thought was unique or insightful.  It was similar to Crazy Love, but not a well written and didn't provide the kind of arc that pulled together the storyline as it moved along.  I don't want to discount how much I appreciate having so many narratives out there about intimate violence, but if you are only going to read a handful of them, this isn't one of the ones I would suggest. 

​Not recommended.

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There is a lot to like about this book written by a young adult about her rape at a prestigious boarding school during her sophomore year. She reports the case and the book follows her through the aftermath of the subsequent court cases.  At the very end of the book. she has some self-awareness of the amount of privilege she had, which it feels icky to talk about, but really the amount of support she got from family and the various law enforcement and attorneys involved is unlike almost any case I have ever personally seen.  In just about every way, she was what is generally referred to as a "perfect victim" and that very much plays out in this book--and yet still the experience is excruciating for her. The response of her peers was not unexpected and the school's attempts to avoid any responsibility or change was predictable, but one thing this book demonstrates is how much having a functional family that believes you and supports you matters in cases like this.  Overall, it is a decent, but not outstanding read.

Not not recommended

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I thought this was going to be a better read than it was.  Although in some ways, she shares intimate details about her alcoholism and mental health struggles, I often felt like she was going through the motions of telling her story in the sort of superficial way people do.  The telling of the story is neither chronological, nor set forth by organized topic or thought, but rather a collection of stories with gaps and jumps that left me feeling like I never got to the point.  At times, I thought the recounting of the experiences to be justification for behaviors that hurt people in a way that I just didn't find compelling, but more of a "look at the terrible things I did while I was drinking" rant.

   Not recommended.

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This was just not good at all.  It was a free audio book and it felt like it.  There just wasn't anything about it that I liked and none of it felt like it made sense or was realistic and it wasn't even cute enough to overlook any of the flaws.  Just no.

Not recommended.  

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I read this memoir because of its content relating to domestic and sexual violence and from this respect, there is a lot powerful storytelling that is surprisingly well written. That said, Steffans minimizes a lot of what happens to her and doesn't situate that abuse within the context of any larger meaning in her life.  Her addiction is well documented and understandable, but then she covers recovery with no details or depth whatsoever, crediting a come to Christianity that lacked even real fervor.  Her experience of sex work (and sex work adjacent existence) in Hollywood offered a glimpse into a different world that wasn't uninteresting, but the name dropping of all the people she slept with and what they had done was too much and ended up being more than a little irritating. I probably would have liked it more if she had condensed the first 80% of the book into 20% and expanded the last chapter of recovery, healing, and survival to 80% of the book.
Not recommended.

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This is a pretty generic memoir of domestic violence. In this case, an affluent woman working as an assistant district attorney married to a prominent local politician attorney. She writes like an attorney building a case, with graphic details about the abuse and lengthy defenses of why she stayed in the relationship.  With hints of self-blame, this felt like she was trying to prove to herself that she wasn't to blame for what happened--and she wasn't.  But it was painful to watch her feel like she needed to go to these length to work through that.  The title is right on and she spends the book first explaining why it was so bad and then explaining why she didn't leave.  I also didn't love the religious salvation messaging that ran through the narrative.  To me, that isn't the interesting part anymore and there are so many good memoirs out there that have a more nuanced and complex message about survival and healing.  I didn't find it "inspiring" the way many solid memoirs are written, I just really wanted her to know that it really wasn't her fault and it really wasn't ok.

Not recommended.
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This is a follow up the author's memoir called Consent, which is not available on audio and I was pretty disappointed that this is essentially a letter-essay that likely would have been put into better context had it been the afterword to that memoir.  As a standalone read, I can see how it might have been empowering for the author to write, but it definitely lacked the context that I would have appreciated. 

 Not recommended
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 This book about domestic and sexual violence, writing by an American attorney, provides a detailed narrative that compiles information, data, and theory from a variety of disciplines and expertly describes how we disbelieve and blame victims of intimate violence, both in and out of the court system.  It does not read like a text book or legal brief, but rather provides case examples written in a succinct and captivating narrative.  The content is not more explicit than it needs to be and just does an excellent job of bringing together a lot of information in a good read.

Highly recommend

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Recommended

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This is an excellent overview and update of the current leading edge thought on domestic violence.  Part memoir and part non-fiction exploration of trauma and the dynamics of domestic violence, I found this very accessible and interesting.  In some ways. it provides very basic information, so it is a good read for folks who are not well versed on the topic, but on the other hand, she has quite a sophisticated understanding of the literature and delves into some of the nuance and complexity of the issues.  Overall, it is a good primer for anyone and a good update for folks who haven't kept up with the literature in a while.

Recommend

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